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“I was going to tell you a joke about my vagina, but you will never get it.” – Unknown 32. Últimos Resultados: Mega Sena Lotofácil Me And My Ex Gay Dating Again Gay Dating Website Atheist Free Local Gay Dating Sites In Canada Married Couples Online Gay Dating Free Best Gay Dating Site In Usa How Is It Gay Dating A Marine Online Korean Gay Dating Site Funny dating profile one.“I told him to be himself, that was pretty mean I guess.” – Roger Sterling 29. He keeps trying to convince me he’s a compulsive liar, but I don’t believe him.” – Ben Bailey 30. When you’re high, you can do anything you normally do just as well. That’s where rich people go to live the rest of their life in the woods.” – Patrice O’Neal 37. A lot of people don’t realize that.” – Mitch Hedberg 38. “There’s a reason it’s called ‘girls gone wild’ and not ‘women gone wild’. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.” – Louis CK 42.“I taught Sunday School for two years. “It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen 44. “Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. “My father is schizophrenia, but he’s good people.”- Stewart Francis 31. You just realize it’s not worth the fucking effort. “I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.” – Rodney Dangerfield 39. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana — mafia.” – Jim Gaffigan 40. Enjoy laughing out loud to all these hilarious one liners. “Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.” – Demetri Martin 2. w=1140&h=1140&resize=1140,1140&quality=95&strip=all&crop=1 1140w, https://thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/funny-one-liners.jpg? w=2280&h=2280&resize=2280,2280&quality=95&strip=all&crop=1 2280w, https://thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/funny-one-liners.jpg? w=189&h=189&resize=189,189&quality=95&strip=all&crop=1 189w, https://thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/funny-one-liners.jpg? w=786&h=786&resize=786,786&quality=95&strip=all&crop=1 786w, https://thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/funny-one-liners.jpg? w=768&h=768&resize=768,768&quality=95&strip=all&crop=1 768w" sizes="(max-width: 1140px) 100vw, 1140px" / 4.

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“When I was a boy, I laid in my twin sized bed and wondered where my brother was.” – Mitch Hedberg 5.

“It’s sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.” – Jack Handey 6.

“I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather..

Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.” – Unknown 15.

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