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They go to the skating rink, where Allison’s former coach shows Tommy show to speed skate. Allison’s first inclination is to yell instructions at him, but then she remembers how f***ing terrible it’d be to single in her forties, so instead, she claps for him like a dumb cheerleader. You’re on a good roll right now.” DEVIN, GURL, THERE’S A MOVIE I THINK YOU NEED TO WATCH. Todd, meanwhile, asks if she’s “ready to go home.” THE HEAT OF THIS CHEMISTRY IS UNBEARABLE, AMIRIGHT?
After the date, Patti calls Todd to see how it went. Devin, meanwhile, gushes about the date to Patti, claiming she had “a blast.” Patti tells Devin that’s being delusional, and that she needs a guy who will throw her up against a wall and ravage her with his tongue, or something like that. “You need to face the music.”Devin doesn’t see Todd again, but we learn she’s now dating a great guy who loves her for who she is. During her follow-up meeting with Allison and Tommy, something happens in Patti’s office for the first time in history: a proposal.
Listen up, women in relationships: being dominant is okay, according to Patti. Anyway, Devin meets with her three potential matches: Arron, who’s starting an organic margarita business; Todd, literally the most boring man who’s ever lived; and Dan, who I’m pretty sure IS ACTUALLY STEVE CARELL. As Tommy looks on (no doubt longing to feel the cool firmness of the pole sliding through his legs just once more), Allison discovers that pole-dancing is actually “very hard, very performance-driven, and is very artistic and beautiful.” obvious that Todd isn’t remotely interested in pursuing this relationship; he tells Devin how annoying his kid can be, and that she probably wouldn’t want to make time for him in her life.
Biologically, men need to hunt, fish and call the shots in the family, she says.“Shut the fuck up feminists,” Patti tells the camera, “because you’re probably fucking single anyway.” So awesome how progressive this show is!! Before we get to Devin’s master date with Totally Disinterested Todd, Allison and Tommy enter the next phase of Patti’s counseling plan: swapping lives with each other. And when Devin tells Todd about all the cookbooks she’s written, Todd literally tells her, “I don’t want to blow your candle out.