Asserting myself while dating

I just chose to project my own manufactured reality onto them in order to keep them around.I’m not saying that I blamed myself for the unfair standards placed on women; I simply decided that there was only one variable I could control in these situations: how I reacted to the pressure to be "cool." So I slowly, but surely, began expressing my actual feelings around the men I was dating.

Instead of treating a date like an audition, I now see it as a low-pressure interview — one in which I’m the person behind the desk instead of in front of it.I met a guy on Ok Cupid who said he was into Russian literature and jazz, so I bought a copy of In the back of my head, I always knew that this wasn’t who I was.I was able to step outside myself and recognize that this performance I was putting on was full Cool Girl — especially once Flynn laid out the concept in her book.Not off the bat, but the guys I want to be spending time with are those who aren’t too scared to allow something to develop naturally.I don’t expect you to be my boyfriend tomorrow, but if you’re more interested in putting up arbitrary boundaries before I’ve even decided whether I like you or not than actually getting to know me, then I think it’s best we don’t see one another.

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